Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
