I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
