But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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