I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
