sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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