you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
