How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
