Its about making memories worth repressing
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize
