Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
