are you so shy because you have an std?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
