Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
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