I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
