Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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