It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
