You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
