Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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