I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
