I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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