please come you make the beer taste better
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
