There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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