i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
