It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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