He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
