I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
