I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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