You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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