Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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