only if we run a train.
done.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i've created a new STD.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
