She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I can't turn off my feet"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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