***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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