The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
