my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
