Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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