I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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