After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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