i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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