Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
