Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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