Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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