You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize