my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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