my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize