Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
