just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
