took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
