she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize