No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
