Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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