I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
