weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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