i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
