I accidentally had phone sex last night
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i love accidental penises.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
