okay pat passed out under dana's car
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
