How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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