You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
