just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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